Two Cents from Prism

I was asked to share some “mom wisdom”--most of this I learned from my mother and my Grandma Nelson. I also got quite a bit of it from Parenting Classes (I really recommend “Parent Effectiveness Training”--the book is available on Amazon for pennies!) I am sharing it with some of my favorite mommies of “Littles”, and you are welcome to share the link with anyone you think would want it. Here is a great, but sobering talk from President Gordon B. Hinkley: http://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/11/your-greatest-challenge-mother I love you! YOU CAN DO THIS! They will be big sooner than you can believe! There is no such thing as “quality time” WITHOUT “quantity time”. Spending lots of money to do big things is NOT as important as regular amounts of cuddling and listening. My dear Grammy said that there are two sure ways to spoil a child: To ALWAYS give them what they want, and to NEVER give them what they want. However, it is really important to cut down on the “gimme-gimmes” and let them know that NO ONE can have EVERYTHING they want. Learning gratitude, sharing and giving, gratitude, discipline and self control starts with that lesson--and realizing that sometimes you have to save up for a LONG TIME to be able to get what you want. Learning those lessons in childhood will reap big blessings for the rest of their lives! This is an EXCELLENT talk: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1993/10/rearing-children-in-a-polluted-environment Eye contact=love (Pay attention to how often mothers ignore their children when they are talking, or pay more attention to the TV or Computer screen, while their children are telling them about their day, or what they learned…”yeah, yeah, yeah...that’s nice honey”!--how would you feel, if the people you loved the most always treated YOU like that?) Discipline is teaching them how to control themselves, especially when they get out of control! REMEMBER--YOU are the ADULT, so it is very confusing if you allow yourself to get out of control! Always check for these background reasons for naughtiness, and treat the underlying problem, NOT the symptom! Hungry (feed both of you!) Tired (Have they had a nap? are they feeling sick?) Frustrated (Can they communicate their needs and wants? Teaching babies to sign REALLY helps reduce this one!--check out “Signing Time”--the best ASL videos for kids at http://www.signingtime.com/ (they are streaming on Netflix Instant, too). Anger is a secondary emotion so when you are feeling angry, stop and ask yourself what were you feeling first? The 3 rules of our family: obey quickly no whining we are a team (which means no fighting, arguing or bickering, no mean speaking--never using “shut up” or other rude words to each other, and defending each other from the rest of the world!) Everything else falls into one of those 3! (You will never be as grateful for anything in your life, when your kids are teenagers who don’t whine!) Remember that each of these children is a Child of God, with their own identity and personhood, and you are to help them bloom, not squish them into conformity. Mosiah 4, especially verses 13-15 The commandment to “rejoice in your posterity” is only possible when you LIKE them and they are living correct principles! http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/4?lang=eng Good manners have a direct payoff that they should be taught = nobody likes a rude nasty brat (Show them how good manners pay off!--they are smart enough to understand!) (I really like Judith Martin “Miss Manners”--she is snarky, funny and wise!) Say “Yes” instead of “NO” all the time! Mothers often find that our default setting is “no”—even when there is no very good reason. “Can I go out and play in the rain?” “Can I do some finger painting?” “Can I make mud pies?” Often we answer NO automatically, without thinking, and sometimes we say “maybe later” or “we’ll see”—which every child figures out really early on is just another way for a mom to say “NO”. Why shouldn’t they play in the rain? They won’t melt. Why shouldn’t they finger paint? Their little hands are washable. Why shouldn’t they make mud pies? They’re going to have a bath before bed anyway. Babies believe 100% of what their parents tell them, which means if you tell them they are are “little brats”, or “terrors” or “monsters”--they will be! And if you catch them being good, and reinforce that “You are so smart” “You are such a kind big brother”, etc.--they will be! Self esteem comes from doing the best job you can, on a job that needs to be done--so allow your children to do jobs and set them up to succeed! (Even a one year old can bring a clean diaper or the wipes, and help with simple chores. All children need to learn how to be capable, and to know they are contributing citizens!) ENJOY them, they really do grow so FAST--think back on how much they have changed in the last few months! Write down the funny things they say Make your home a laboratory for learning--fill their lives with information so they can understand and love their world! Count as you go up or down stairs, as you wash each finger, as you put pennies in Explain what you are doing and why! Look for letters in the world around you A good bedtime routine is for you as well as them!

Hi! We are always talking about our brain trust, so I figured we needed a central place to put all that group knowledge. The brain trust is a repository for everything: parenting advice, finances, home, organization, humor, hobbies, recipes, tips, tutorials, discipline, education, health, etc.

I also realize (and am probably the worst offender) that we don't all post regularly. That is fine. I just wanted a central place where we could put links, post thoughts, share testimonies, and encourage each other. Post when the spirit moves you, don't feel guilty if you don't. Enjoy!